The Thing About Breast Cancer

Have you ever thought about how many times each day people say “how are you?” and you reply, “fine”?

I never did either until I had the double pleasure of being diagnosed with breast cancer right in the middle of planning a huge restructuring at our company.  It’s a terrible combination that has the added dimension of turning you into an utter fake and phony. 

typical day at work for me over the past 6 weeks:

• someone says, “how are you?”  You say, “fine”.   You mean, “I’m going through genetic testing and am scared to death that I have a genetic mutation”
• someone says, “how are you?”  You say, “fine”.  You mean, “I’m totally freaked out.  Way too many good and talented people are about to learn they are losing their jobs”
• someone says, “how are you?”  You say, “fine”.   You mean, “I’m about to have six weeks of radiation.  I wonder what the long term side effects from radiation are………..”
• someone says, “how are you?”  You say, “fine”.   You mean, “how the heck am I going to tell my kids that their mom has breast cancer”
• someone says, “how are you?”  You say, “fine”.   You mean, “I’m not concentrating on anything you’re saying cause I’m busy praying every minute that my lymph nodes are clean”
• someone says, “how are you?”  You say, “fine”.   You mean, “I wish I could tell you that your job is going to be eliminated as a result of this restructuring, so please please please go home and get your resume together and start reconnecting with your external network”
• someone says, “how are you?”  You say, “fine”.   You mean, “I have to have a mammogram every five minutes for the rest of my life”