The Thing About Breast Cancer

I have a port under my collar bone on left side. It was implanted under my skin during my recent surgery and will, apparently, make the chemo injections much less painful. To me, it seems like such a waste to have an uncomfortable metal object hanging under my skin JUST for chemo. I’m taking suggestions about what else I can use this devise for:

· Maybe a slow release of beta blockers to treat my Raynaud’s syndrome (AKA “cold hands syndrome”)?

· Maybe a time release peroxide for highlights that always stay fresh?

· Why not Grey Goose through the IV? That would definitely take the edge off, don’t you think?

· Why not a Blue Tooth type devise to avoid the pesky ear piece while talking on the phone?

· A friend suggested that I should take a page from an old “Gilligan’s Island” episode where Gilligan’s tooth filling acted as a radio. Maybe my little metal port could act as a satellite so I’d have 700+ channels of TV wherever I went?????

any other suggestions? please comment below.