When I returned to work after having my second child (the one where I gained 60 lbs while pregnant!), I couldn’t focus on anything other than how thin all the women at work seemed to be. I’d sit in meetings (with a good 20 lbs left to lose even though my daughter was 4 months old), and I’d be completely unable to focus on anything other than what a miracle of nature it seemed that other women could tuck their shirts in, wear belts, and sit all day without buttons coming undone on their pants.
Weeks ago, as I nervously anticipated my hair falling out during chemo, I couldn’t turn on the TV without noticing that all the TV news anchors had reverted to big “Breck girl” hair. The economy was in a free-fall, Israel and Gaza were at war, Obama was about to be sworn in, and all I could do was stare at Erin Burnett’s hair on MSNBC.
Then suddenly it changed. I got a super short crew cut to avoid large clumps of hair clogging my drain, and suddenly I didn’t notice Hoda Kotb or Alex Witt or Contessa Brewer. Now I only noticed Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Paul Schafer, and of course JD on “Scrubs”. I felt a certain camaraderie with these men who showed up at work every day proudly displaying their balding heads.
But as the crew cut was shedding everywhere, I had my husband give me a buzz cut that was so short I was forced to start wearing scarves. I’m suddenly watching re-runs of “Rhoda” on YouTube. I’m looking at all the Kwanza posters admiring the intricate ways these women tie their scarves. I look for pictures of Marianne on “Gilligan’s Island” to see if her bandana look would suit me well in corporate America 35 years later. I’m thinking about renting “Fiddler on the Roof” to see if the “babushka” look might work for me.
My life has become very “of the moment”, I suppose. I guess this is a warning to everyone … I’ll be staring at your breasts this summer, wondering if they are real or implants…………….
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