• 21Feb

    m-and-m-packageI got an email from a friend today who referred to her upcoming surgery as her M&M surgery: mastectomy and microscopy. How did I miss this??? me — the queen of M&M’s! the world’s most loyal heavy user of M&M’s. How did I miss the chance to nick name my double mastectomy my M&M surgery????

  • 15Feb

    no-cell-phones-allowedyou gotta love this. The other day, a woman volunteer walked into the chemo room with her dog. She walked her dog around the room person by person giving us each a chance to pet her dog. Yes… that’s right; she brought a big hairy dog into a room filled with people whose immune systems are as compromised as possible. Bring your dog; don’t worry if the patients are allergic; just don’t talk on your cell phone! You can’t make this stuff up!

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  • 14Feb

    Now that I’m chemo bald, I spend virtually no time getting ready in the morning. No hair to blow dry, no hair to brush, no hair to obsess over. No bad hair days. No frizz. No gray hair. No fading highlights. Believe it or not, I now have bad ear days though. Some days I can’t believe how weird my ears look … they stick out; they have weird creases; they aren’t symmetrical; they’re not the same color as my face. Who knew??!!

    I look forward to frizzy hair days again soon!

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  • 06Feb

    You may be aware that every year the Washington Post runs a Mensa contest where they ask readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.  If you’re not familiar, take a look at the attached link.  Some are pretty funny. 

     

    http://walkinthewords.blogspot.com/2009/01/washington-posts-word-fun-add-subtract.html

     

    I have my own non-Mensa “cancer girl” submission: 

     

    Last week I had dinner with one of my hip friends in NYC.  He normally mocks me for being overly preppy, suburban, and conservative.  When he saw me in my “Rhoda goes to Kwanza” head scarf, however, he told me that I had turned “urban chic” into “turban chic“.  I went on to point out that when I got tired of being called “cancer girl”, they could call me “turban chick“………

     

    …..ok…. so the Mensa people are more creative, but I thought this was pretty good for a middle aged, middle IQ chick….

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  • 01Feb

    Earlier in my BC journey, I blogged about all the wonderful things I don’t have to do because I have cancer.  http://thethingaboutbreastcancer.com/2008/11/22/chemo-amnesty-plan/

    (see Nov 22 “chemo amnesty plan” blog if this link didn’t work).

     

    My new favorite thing about cancer is that no one is asking me to write the “25 random things about me” on Face Book.  I think everyone is afraid that it wouldn’t be funny and clever, but that it might be some sort of very topical rant like this:

     

    1.  I take Compazine at first sign of nausea

    2.  if that doesn’t work, I take zophran 30 minutes later

    3.  If I feel totally crappy, I take ativan,but it sometimes makes me tired

    4.  I sleep in a cap, cause the pillow case still pulls at the few hairs I have remaining on my head

    5.  every time I get a paper cut, I use a whole tube of Neosporin to avoid infection

    6.  I eat every 2 hours, keeping the people who make simple carbohydrates in business, despite the touch economy

    7.  when I tie my scarves in the morning, I sing the “la la la la la” Rhoda song

    8.  the nexium seems to be working for the acid reflux

    9.  the “magic mouthwash” makes me gag a little bit, but it does help with the mouth sores

    10.            Despite 6 weeks of chemo, my skin does not seem to be pale gray; I’m also not bone thin

    11.            during my chemo weeks, I don’t enjoy my morning coffee … this is truly depressing

    12.            I enjoy my Edy’s slow churn caramel praline crunch frozen yogurt no matter which day it is

    13.            I’ve switched to an extra soft tooth brush; it’s like being 2 years old again

    14.            Lemon Sorbet tastes really good when you’re a little queasy

    15.            fudge pops taste really good when you’re a little queasy

    16.            While the port is a convenient way to get chemo, it’s an annoying little devise on a day to day basis

    17.            I sometimes forget that I’m bald and I answer the door without putting on a cap, freaking out the UPS guy more than once. 

    18.            I bought 2 wig-like things that I’m quite sure I’ll never wear

    19.            I get out of breath when I work out on the elliptical (this is as depressing as not liking the taste of coffee!!)

    20.            the bagels in the chemo room are stale, but I eat them anyway

    21.            the magazines in the chemo room are out of date, so I bring my own

    22.            I’m the only one in the chemo room who eats throughout my treatment (don’t they know about granola bars?????)

    23.            it’s amazing how fast you can get ready in the morning when you don’t have to do your hair

    24.            it’s actually quite warm and cozy to wear a scarf on your head when it’s 14 degrees

    25.            I’m flattered that Little Stevie is wearing a “shmata” on his head at the super bowl in support of me.  :)  

     

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  • 01Feb

    Do you remember when you gave birth to your first child?  While in the hospital, I remember being slightly afraid to hold my daughter, thinking I might drop or break her.  I was so envious of the nurses who held the babies with such confidence and authority, swaddling them like little tortillas in their hospital blankets.  They knew the babies wouldn’t break. 

     

    So… here I am 14 years later having the same fear over my new (yet temporary) breasts.  Six weeks after surgery, I finally got the courage to lie on my side, still worrying that I would wake up and the “tissue expander” (AKA temporary implant) would collapse, break or rupture. 

     

    I use body wash in the shower … the rest of my body gets slopped around like it was an old rag, but I gingerly wash my new breasts the way I imagine somebody would dust the Hope Diamond. 

     

    When I sneeze too hard I look down to make sure they haven’t fallen off.  I stop for a second and make sure saline hasn’t ruptured throughout my body. 

     

    Recently, on the one day the temperature cracked above 32 degrees, I got the courage to go out for a morning run.  To be fair, it was mostly a walk with a few blocks of running.  Still ‘n all, I have great news to share:   they didn’t fall off.  They didn’t slip down my belly and wind up in my fanny pack. They’re still firmly attached and giving me some sense of normalcy until I can get my permanent implants this summer and start this whole fear of breakage again……………

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